Monday, November 20, 2006

New Blog, Last Post Here

Now that I have gotten my feet wet w/blogging and learned some things... I am moving this blog to a new one, in part because blogger is switching blogs over to a new format, anyway. The new blog will be quite good, like a standup act on paper. It may repeat a few of the entries from here, but in better detail w/more attention and more sarcasm. Hope you check it out!

New Blog: Did you Stop to Think?

www.didyoustoptothink.blogspot.com

Monday, November 06, 2006

Bar Prerequisites

Sorry I missed posting last week. My book officially came out then, ("God is a Woman: Dating Disasters"), so busy w/that. Please spread the word and remember purchases from the site www.godisawoman.net (now w/reviews, an excerpted chapter, etc.) include a $2 donation to mentally ill children. (All the info on the site.)

Realized I am old (34) this wknd. In the past, when invited to a bar by friends, I asked things like, "Will there be a lot of pretty women there?" "What are the drink specials?" "What kind of music do they play?" Now, I ask, "What's the bathroom like? Is it more than one stall and one urinal? Will the door bump my arm while I'm peeing every time someone enters the bathroom?" I want a spacious restroom at my bars! I also ask, "Is the music really loud? I don't want that."

I'm old. I'm willing to go to a bar w/hardly any women, large restrooms, and quiet music, where I'll pay any price they ask for a drink. I'm old

Monday, October 23, 2006

Outlaw Tag

I had to make a rare second posting today, as I just heard about this. Schools banning games like tag and dodgeball.

Yahoo article on school that bans tag. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061018/ap_on_fe_st/playground_tag_ban

Apparently, there is concern that tag is exclusionary and kids could get hurt. When I was a kid, I was pissed that lawn darts got outlawed. What the hell is going on? A few kids got killed by the darts. We went thru a few sets, having a blast for years, w/out anyone ever getting hurt. I'm sorry natural selection wasn't as kind to all kids. But it is natural selection. If a kid is too dumb to know not to get hit by a sharp object...

I had a horse racing game I loved as a child. The horses sat in the gates, the gates opened, and the horses raced across to the finish. Totally cool; never knew which horse was going to win. It was outlawed because some group felt it taught kids gambling. Please, we never gambled. (My dad did take it to work and gamble w/it there w/all his work buddies, but gambling is not something kids just do; they have to learn it from adults.)

Now, it is the banning of tag and dodgeball. Who are these idiots that want to stop all fun? Are they that unhappy and miserable in their own lives? One woman parent in the article said, "I'm glad tag's banned. I've seen enough near collisions." Pfft. Please. I've seen these parents, overprotecting their kids from this little thing called "LIFE" as I go near a school from time to time on my way home. They act so concerned about their kids, then get in an SUV, don't buckle up their kids, let alone put them in the required safety seats, talk on their cell while drinking coffee and almost get killed in a car accident when they fail to stop for a stop sign. Get real and be honest. Just say, "I could care less about my kid's safety. My poor little baby sucks at tag and cries every night about it! Therefore, no one should be able to play tag. Boo hoo hoo."

The truth is, if these whining parents would spend some time w/their kids when they were young, developing eye-hand coordination and playing tag, etc. w/them, the kids wouldn't suck. Any parents who make such outlandish requests like banning tag should be told, "You know what? Just take your kid home and home school 'em." Watch how fast they change their minds. "Oh, I don't care if you put my kid in a swimming pool w/sliced hi-wire voltage lines hanging over it. Just please, don't make me spend that much time w/him! I'm too busy shopping at Prada and filling out surveys in Cosmopolitin!"
(I know it's ritzy parents complaining; other parents WANT their kids outside playing tag, etc., plus no one would even consider outlawing tag for parents who didn't have clout.)

How far are we going to let this go? For God's sake schools, stand up to these whiny wimps. In fact, make tag a REQUIREMENT and grade the kids in it!

Loan Approved! Debt Consolidated!

Almost every evening when I get home, I have several messages on my machine. Over the course of the last year, I've had 423 loans approved, and the opportunity to consolidate my debt 672 times, for one low monthly interest payment. Remarkable.

What's even more remarkable is I've never applied for a loan and I have no debt. Wouldn't ya know it? Something I can get that I can't use. The loan messages are always, "Your loan has been approved." "Calling in response to your loan query for $25,000." And the like. Do these idiots actually think that will work? Like I'm going to go, "Geez, I completely forgot about applying for that loan. I better call 'em back and take the money!" Morons. Just a few more idiots serving their sole purpose of annoying me at the end of a long day.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Wash Hair Twice?

I washed my hair twice this morning. This isn't because I wanted to; it's not like I follow the instructions on the back of the shampoo "Lather. Wash. Rinse. Repeat." I don't need to do that.

No, I washed my hair twice for the same reason I regularly wash my hair twice now and then... I forget I washed it the first time. I literally stand in the shower thinking, "Did I wash my hair? I can't remember." I then lather up and wash it again. As I do, I remember that I just watched it.

Does anyone else do this? I wonder if I have discovered the universal sign that I am getting old... washing my hair twice because I can't remember if I washed it in the first place. How sad is that?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Customer Serivce? WHAT'S THAT??

I had a glitch w/FrontPage last week. (I know a lot of people frown at using frontpage for web page design, but it's simple and I NEED that!) All I could see on each page was everything in code and there were no options to get away from that view, like there normally are. I have no idea what code is. I might as well be back in biology, looking in a dissected frog for its kidney (something else that I could never find or understand).

I searched Microsoft, where they have one of those FAQ boards, where they try to guess every imaginable ?. I couldn't find my problem. So, naturally, I called the customer service number. Microsoft was more than happy to help me out by transferring me to a tech... for $244 for one ?! And there was no guarantee he could answer it. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I assume when I buy something that says "Tech support" it doesn't mean I have to pay extra for it. And from what I've heard, if I did get a tech person, I'd have to hire an interperter to understand the foreigner I was speaking to. I think they charge like $100/hr... So that's $344 to ask Microsoft a ?.

Is that what we've come to? Charging for customer service? That's not customer service, that's sales. So, MS should just call it sales. Is MS hurting that bad, that they need to charge for ?'s? Nutso. I joined a forum, FrontPage Forum, and got my ? answered right away. Problem solved. Check it out if you use FrontPage; it is well worth your time. I got a quick response which led me to the solution. I'm "Quick Question" on there, by the way. So, blah to MS's "customer service"!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Pictures From Algonquin






They're pretty self-explanatory. A few colors. A beaver dam. An itchy heron. A moose from my LAST trip to Algonquin, NOT this one. One of the eight I saw.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Where Are the Moose?

I have returned from my camping trip to Canada. Usually I like to keep my blogs somewhat short, but this one will be long. If you don't have time to read it all, here are the highlights of what I've learned: (Pictures will follow in a day or two.)

My friend and I could get lost in our apartments (we live in studios).
Canada and Algonquin Park rock.
Toronto rivals Chicago for the worst traffic in North America.
The moose in Algonquin are in hiding.

We set out Sat. The first thing we learned is that Canada is very weird. There was no trash along the street. No one tossing cups out of their car windows on the highway. No billboards selling something every few miles. Drivers signaled before changing lanes. Drivers didn't get right up on someone's butt before changing lanes or while they were behind someone who was passing another car. We stopped at a store to ask some ?'s. The clerk actually KNEW the answers; they did not have to refer us to another person who then referred us to another and then another and then another, until the entire store's staff was standing before us, baffled by our question... very weird! The irony is that there was a lot more customer service in a socialist country than a capitalistic one. Unexpected and weird.

Gas in Canada has always been more expensive than in the U.S., a lot more. Not anymore. The price of gas in the U.S. has nearly caught up; it is only a few dollars less here than in Canada. Of course in Canada, they pay for the healthcare and various other things with each purchase of gas; we don't here. Plus, the price is in Canadian $, so it's actually about the same price.

It took us forever to get around Toronto, on a Sat at 7pm. Unreal. Toronto has grown to the 4th largest city in North America, but has not really expanded the roads since they were 104th or whatever they used to be years ago. So, the roads are jammed, maybe even surpassing Chicago as the worst traffic. (Detroit, NY, L.A. DO NOT have the worst traffic, despite their claims.) Houston is next on the list as worst traffic, behind Chicago and Toronto.

We hit Algonquin Park (http://www.algonquinpark.on.ca/), a place to see many different types of animals, most notably and advertised, moose. Algonquin has only one road (a highway) that runs thru it, and often moose can be seen right off it. In fact, they don't have deer crossing signs; they have moose crossing signs! We arrived at the park late Sat. night. Now, Algonquin's website states that at this time of the year, while the colors are AWESOME, no one else will be at the park. A visitor at this time of the year would have the park to himself. We arrived to find the camping ground we wanted to stay out COMPLETELY FULL! Several others were closed. We drove around for an hour before finding an available site. Canada is really good about providing seclusion in their campsites, even when the campground is full. They tend to just cram everybody in here in the U.S.

Surprisingly, we didn't see any moose that night, even w/all our driving around. The next morning we hit a few trails geared to see animals, one going over several beaver ponds. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. We drove along the highway some more, no animals. We hit some more trails and looked for animals again that evening and night. Still, nothing.

I've been to Algonquin several times. The last time I went was my best wildlife viewing. In 3 days I saw: 8 moose (2 of which were calves), some blue heron, a pine martin (rare to see), grouse, a fox, a bear cub, and a lynx (rare to see, and they've been trying to get hard evidence that they actually live in the park). So, not to see anything was weird.

The next day, our last full day of camping (short, 2 full camping trip), we hiked on a trail intended to see lots of animals. Over 6 miles long and partly washed out. We got nice and muddy. Last time I did this trail, I saw 4 moose in the bog part of the trail. This time? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I couldn't believe it! We saw 2 blue heron and a "marked" turtle. That's it.

Near the back end of the trail, we ran across some gray jays. I got some good photos, as they come close for food. I led most of the trail way. My friend had led once and he started us back the way we came, so I stopped him and turned us around. After looking at the jays, he led again. After a while, we noticed that the trail markers were on the wrong sides of the trees. We started running into people. They have posts w/numbers on them on the trail, and we started to see the same numbers. We became annoyed. Why would they have two trails, and use the same dots for each? How stupid is that? Why would people not realize they were walking down the wrong trail? (Everyone we ran into claimed they had been to the same places as us; clearly they couldn't have been! We started at 7AM, before anyone else was there--we were the only car in the parking lot--and no one had passed us.) Finally, my friend realized, "Maybe I led us back down the wrong way again." Dah! "That would make more sense than all our other theories, wouldn't it?" I replied. We laughed at our stupidity.

We heard there were moose in the bog area we had passed, so we hurried to see them. They were gone by the time we got there. So, we did 10 miles on a 6 mile trail and saw no moose. Doh!

That evening/night and the next morning we drove around. No freaking moose. DOH! So, we saw no moose in Algonquin, after I promised my friend we would. We did see a lot of great colors, have a kick butt campfire, and so forth. So, we had a lot of fun. We will go back next year, armed w/more time, more eyes (people), and in June (prime time to see moose on the road, where they lick salt from the melting ice on the road).

Personally, I'd like to see a bull moose in the fall, when its antlers are all big and when they are fighting over the females. Oh, well; guess I'll just have to head to a club this weekend. I'll pretty much get to see the same thing...